It’s easy to criticize how someone is drinking incorrectly…It’s fun, too.
In their defense, we usually tell the critical to get over it and mind their own business. But in this case, we have to agree. Wine is precious and should be treated well in order to deliver the right qualities from glass to mouth. So, let’s pass on the fun times of feeling superior and take a tip from Food and Wine.
By Anthony Giglio Via foodandwine.com
People! Here’s the deal with stemware: There’s a rod of glass between the base and the bowl of a wine glass for several reasons, and the absolute most important of those is to keep your 98.6-degree hand away from your properly chilled wine. And yet, over and over again, I see people hold their glasses in one of three bizarre ways, all of which I believe they’ve learned from bad TV. Here they are, so that in the future you can avoid utilizing them.
THE “HOUSEWIVES OF” HOLD: After over-pouring your over-oaked Merlot into your oversized etched-crystal goblet, wrap your hand around the bowl, just above the stem, and fan your fingers out in such a way that your 3-carat diamond ring mesmerizes friends and frenemies alike. Sweep your hand back and forth expansively, while giving those friends/frenemies a tour of your new 8,000-square-foot McMansion—the one you just bought yourself after catching your idiot ex-husband cheating with your backstabbing-slut ex-babysitter. Now take a sip of your wine. Warm, isn’t it? But at least everyone is impressed by your diamonds.
THE “HAIL MARY PASS” HOLD: Otherwise known as the bro-hold. You’re trying to impress the wine-obsessed girl you’re out with, but, dude, you would so rather be hoisting a beer to your lips. Still, in an effort to look both sophisticated and faux-interested in “this, like, amazing Chardonnay” she’s yammering about, you grab your glass like it’s a football you’re about to fling across the length of the restaurant, fingers wrapped around the bowl like it’s pigskin. You are Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers heaving a 61-yard, record-breaking, game-winning touchdown, to Detroit’s utter devastation. Rodgers…he’s in trouble…he fires…in the end zone! It’s caught! For the win! Now take a sip of your wine. Warm, right? Bonehead.
THE “MASTERPIECE THEATER” HOLD: Quiet! Quiet—it’s starting! As the trumpets sound their fanfare you are Alistair Cooke, standing on your bearskin rug in front of your walk-in fireplace, protected from the sparks and ashes by your crushed velvet smoking jacket. Your butler proffers a glass of weak-looking Claret. You seize the glass, turning your palm skyward, intercepting the stem between your ring and middle fingers, and cup the bowl delicately-yet-firmly from beneath. You swirl the tea-colored wine slowly, importantly, before lifting it to your nostrils. You close your eyes and inhale deeply, filled with self-satisfaction. You swirl again. You take a sip. Ah…hm. What’s this? Warm wine? “Perhaps you might want to hold the glass by the stem, sir,” your butler murmurs. “It does also prevent oily fingerprints.”
Picture by: Getty Images/EyeEm